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Princess and the Pirate

The Princess and the Pirate
Rating: ***
Origin: USA, 1944
Director: David Butler
Source: Warner Bros. DVD

The Princess and the Pirate

You wouldn’t know it from his later career, but there was a time when Bob Hope was genuinely funny. His movies in the 1940s followed a formula: stuck in a Hollywood genre film—Western, gangster, monster movie—Hope, a genial but cowardly shmoe, fouls up and gets in trouble with the bad guys. Trying to avoid whatever doom is at hand, he falls in with an Aspirational Blonde who’s also threatened by the creeps, and having to save her gives him the spine and spunk necessary to outwit the villains. In this entry, the villains are a crew of cartoonish Caribbean pirates led by a captain known as Hook because—do I have to tell you? Hope plays a comically-bad itinerant actor called Sylvester the Great, which gives him an excuse to adopt various guises over the course of the story (including, of course, a fop with a quizzing glass). The Aspirational Blonde is Margaret (Virginia Mayo, fittingly pale, bland, and cloying), who’s been abducted by the pirates and held for ransom because she’s actually the Princess of … somewhere, we’re never really told. Facts, meh: the story’s just a framework for a torrent of gags. The jokes start to get good when Walter Brennan shows up in the pirate crew, playing a crazy coot named Featherhead with unholy glee. He helps Sylvester and Margaret escape and sends them off on a cockamamie mission to dig up Hook’s buried treasure.

The escapees sail their dinghy to the pirate port of Casarouge, where after various mock-frightening encounters with the town’s scurvy citizens they run afoul of the colonial governor, the oleaginous La Roche, who’s played by the fine Austrian actor Walter Slezak, making his Hollywood debut in a comic rôle tinged with menace—his specialty. In fact, he made such a strong impression in this film that he spent the rest of the 1940s playing wily villains in historical adventures. Hook reappears and bellows a lot, Featherhead pops out of a wardrobe and tattoos a treasure map on Sylvester’s chest, Margaret sings a song, and there’s a good deal of chasing around the governor’s mansion. It’s pretty funny, actually, until the dumb deus-ex-machina ending invalidates all of Sylvester’s reluctant heroism. Walk the plank, writers.

By |2018-02-11T17:36:40-05:00December 16, 2017|Cinema of Swords, Ellsworth's Cinema of Swords|Comments Off on Princess and the Pirate

Prince Who was a Thief

The Prince Who was a Thief
Rating: ***
Origin: USA, 1951
Director: Rudolph Maté
Source: ATI Entertainment DVD

This is the first of many sword-swinging starring rôles for Tony Curtis, whom you really can’t avoid if you’re watching historical adventures made in the ‘50s. Everybody mocks Curtis, and it’s mostly deserved, because he just doesn’t have the wits of a Burt Lancaster, or even a Louis Hayward, but he’s not terrible so much as just mediocre. Somebody was persuaded, and persuaded him, that he was movie star material, and it took Hollywood about ten years to figure out that he was best employed as a reliable second banana. Fortunately he’s offset in this film by engaging performances from Everett Sloane and from Piper Laurie, who even this early in her career knew exactly what she was doing.

As in The Prince of Foxes, Sloane excels playing a thief and assassin, though here with a comic touch he didn’t get a chance to show in the earlier film. Hired to kill the infant Dey of Tangier so the child’s wicked uncle can assume the throne, when the time comes he can’t do it, so he fakes the murder and takes the child to raise as his own. As in all these tales of a rightful monarch raised by someone else, we know how it’s going to end, so the pleasures or disappointments come in the getting from here to there. This time the trip is mostly worthwhile. The boy grows up to become Julna (Tony Curtis), the city’s greatest thief, who is fixated on its greatest prize, the treasury vault where the false dey stores the gold his tax collectors wrest from the people. The business of thieving gets a proper workout in this movie, and Julna’s exploits evoke the young Conan the Barbarian, or a Dungeons & Dragons rogue. The whole thing is shot on soundstages, with no exteriors at all, just the ever-dark city streets and the moody lamp-lit interiors that surround and tower over them.

In proper Thief of Bagdad fashion, while escaping some guards Julna goes where he shouldn’t and casts his eyes on forbidden fruit, his beautiful cousin the Princess Yasmin (Peggie Castle). The thief is smitten with the snotty princess, but as soon as he cute-meets another thief, Tina (Piper Laurie), during a bungled jewel robbery, we know she’s really the one for him. The barely-legal Laurie, as slippery as an eel and as cute as two bugs, is a wide-eyed naïf who speaks of herself in the third person like an Elder Scrolls Khajiit, and is just as adorably avaricious. Lissome and energetic, she effortlessly matches Curtis’s considerable athleticism, usually while squealing with glee. She’s a delight.

Though based on a story by Theodore Dreiser, of all people, the plot is standard-issue claptrap, with mistaken identities, intrigue in the dey’s court, and an egg-sized pearl the possession of which is the key to marrying the snotty princess. There are several unnecessary scenes of “oriental” dancing by scantily-clad women, but to be fair there’s also a lot of gratuitous swimming by the bare-chested Curtis. There are gags interspersed between the thefts and pursuits, but about half of them fall flat, often because they rely on labored locutions such as, “Begone, you sons of she-camels!” Still, the scene where the thieves use geese as projectiles is charming. In the end, Julna is revealed as the Rightful Dey—he has a tattoo AND a scar, to make doubly sure—the snotty princess is packed off, and Tina is forced to take a bath so she can be properly married. Ending in a marriage: in classical terms, that’s what makes it a comedy, right?

By |2018-02-11T17:36:22-05:00December 16, 2017|Cinema of Swords, Ellsworth's Cinema of Swords|Comments Off on Prince Who was a Thief

Prince Valiant

Prince Valiant
Rating: ***
Origin: USA, 1954
Director: Henry Hathaway
Source: 20th Century Fox DVD

When I was a kid, Sunday morning meant the eagerly-awaited color comics section of the Akron Beacon Journal, and the comic I always turned to first was Prince Valiant. Hal Foster’s adventure tale, set “In the Days of King Arthur,” was gorgeously designed, told an endless story of nearly adult caliber, had engaging characters, was epic in scope and yet ambitious in its attempt to get the details of medieval life credible and accurate. (Its historical setting was highly fictitious, of course, but the Arthur tales are legend, not history.) Prince Valiant was arguably the greatest American adventure strip of the 20th century.

The movie adaptation is … not as great. It’s also not nearly as terrible as its reputation, which rests mainly on how doofy Robert Wagner looks in a black page-boy wig, and how badly miscast the talented Sterling Hayden is as Val’s mentor, Sir Gawain. The rest of the cast is quite good, led by James Mason as the treacherous Sir Brack and Janet Leigh as the feisty Aleta, backed up by Debra Paget as Princess Ilene and the ursine Victor McLaglen as Boltar the Viking. The direction by Henry Hathaway is solid, especially the action sequences, and Franz Waxman delivers his usual top-notch score.

So why is this movie so roundly sneered at? Its problems are twofold. First, it seems somebody thought that because it’s adapted from a comic strip, its tone needed to be juvenile, like a boy’s-own-adventure book with everything clichéd and obvious. Second, though there’s nothing more English than King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, there’s nobody more gosh-darned American than Sterling Hayden and Robert Wagner (unless it’s Tony Curtis, who almost got Wagner’s part). Every time they open their mouths, you hear New Jersey.

The first two-thirds of the movie are basically a standard Hollywood squire-learning-to-be-a-knight picture, though with even worse dialogue than usual. The only twist is that Val is a Viking prince from “Scandia” (clever, eh?), so there’s extra snobbery ‘cause he’s a northern barbarian. The flick briefly turns into a silly romantic farce when both Val and Gawain fall for Aleta, and for twenty cringe-worthy minutes the movie looks doomed—until James Mason saves the day by being a right evil scheming bastard.

Literally. Though illegitimate, Sir Brack has royal blood, and he’s been plotting to usurp Arthur’s throne. Brack’s cut a deal with the wicked Viking Sligon—the same brute who deposed Val’s father, which is why he sent Val to Camelot—a deal to lend Brack a Viking army in exchange for Prince Valiant, the last heir to Sligon’s stolen throne. Brack tricks Val into leaving Camelot, he’s captured and taken to Scandia ….

…And suddenly it’s like we’re in a whole different movie, an exciting action-adventure that’s not doofy at all. Val, his parents, and Aleta (who’d gone after him) are clapped by Sligon into a grim dungeon, set to be first tortured and then crucified. Boltar is outside rallying the loyal Vikings to attack Sligon’s castle and save them, but the effort is doomed without someone on the inside to change the odds. Val, locked in a dungeon cell with no way out, suddenly transforms into the bold and clever trickster of the comic strip—it’s like a switch got flipped. In a thrilling extended action sequence, Val escapes from his cell, signals the loyal Vikings to attack, drenches half of Sligon’s defenders in their own flaming whale oil, duels Sligon to the death for possession of his birthright, the Singing Sword, and frees his parents and Aleta before the burning fortress can collapse on top of them. It’s brilliant. After that, returning to Camelot to challenge Sir Brack to trial-by-combat seems almost an afterthought.

By |2018-01-02T21:03:42-05:00December 16, 2017|Cinema of Swords, Ellsworth's Cinema of Swords|Comments Off on Prince Valiant

Prince of Thieves

Prince of Thieves
Rating: **
Origin: USA, 1948
Director: Howard Bretherton
Source: Columbia Pictures DVD

Prince of Thieves

This is loosely based on Alexandre Dumas’s Le Prince des Voleurs (1872), itself loosely based on Pierce Egan’s Robin Hood (1840), a story from which can be found in Your Editor’s Big Book of Swashbuckling Adventure. It was adapted for the screen by Charles H. Schneer, better known later as Ray Harryhausen’s frequent producer and partner; this is Schneer’s only screenwriting credit. In Sherwood Forest, which has never looked more like southern California, Robin Hood (Jon Hall) saves a traveling noble couple from assassination by an unknown archer. Robin takes them to his camp, where the nobleman reveals that he’s one of the retainers of King Richard, still in France; the woman is his sister, whose name is Lady Marian. Her brother has come to claim the hand of the daughter of the Lord of Nottingham—but the lord has reneged on his promise and intends to marry her to Prince John’s nephew. Suddenly the noble nephew’s soldiers stage a surprise attack. And that’s all just in the first ten minutes! Fortunately, Robin has another hour in which to get things sorted out.

Jon Hall is one of those square-jawed but modestly-talented leading men who made three or four movies a year in the 1940s, playing stalwart heroes in formulaic adventure films for the smaller studios. He’s adequate enough, though about as English as baseball. The rest of the cast,  lords, ladies, and Merrie Men, are mostly pretty tepid, except for Alan Mowbray as Friar Tuck and Robin Raymond as the saucy lady’s maid, Maudie; they’re quite engaging, and do a lot of the heavy lifting with the gags and trickery that move the plot forward. Nottingham Castle uses the same set we saw in Bandit of Sherwood Forest, so we’ve already seen that Robin knows how to get into it. Getting out isn’t as easy, since they closed that leaky postern gate, but fortunately they added a secret escape passage through the dungeon. (Strangely, Robin forgets about this later when the bandits need to get back into the castle again.)

This is another one of those cowboy Robin Hood pictures, where everyone rides horses —except for Friar Tuck, who rides a cute little donkey to good comic effect. The swordplay is ludicrous, the knife-fighting is worse—everybody does that stupid-looking overhand stab—but the archery is pretty good, probably because all the guards and bandits have played Indians in low-budget Westerns. But the pole-arm work with those sad halberds—by my halidome, what an embarrassment! All in all, meh: this is one for Robin Hood completists only.

By |2018-01-02T21:03:42-05:00December 16, 2017|Cinema of Swords, Ellsworth's Cinema of Swords|Comments Off on Prince of Thieves
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